Author Archives: conniesuarez

When you reach my age you have heard a time or two, I want to be like her when I grow up. That is strange because first, I don't want to grow up and second, I am just figuring out who I am. I am an entrepreneur. I am having fun growing businesses from home while caring for my 90+ year old mom. Life is great!

Do We Control When We Retire?

Reaching retirement may require more than following the pathway of our parents’ generation.

It used to be that if you got a job with a solid company you could count on having a job and retire with a modest but adequate retirement.
But today, according to a recent analysis from ProPublica, 56% of workers over 50 have been pushed out of the longtime jobs.
That is appalling.
Worse yet, only 10% of those workers end up making as much as they did before.
Some don’t find employment at all.
Screenshot 2019-01-14 at 9.01.02 PM
Tom Steckel, age 62, has been laid off three times since turning 50. He earns far less and has a killer commute now. Here is the link to the article.
But how can you protect yourself?

First, of course, you need to know your rights.

There are guidelines under The Age Discrimination in Employment Act.

The act basically says it’s illegal to discriminate because of age.

It is illegal but hard to prove or prevent.

Another way to protect yourself is to keep your skills fresh. It isn’t safe to regard your job as a sure thing today. No matter what your age is.
Unfortunately, changing rules require a change in approaches.

Today more and more people are looking to a side hustle.

My side hustle story goes like this.
It was my decision to take an early retirement at 64. My only plan was to care for my mom.
I knew that Social Security benefits would not be enough. I just trusted that God would provide. I assumed that I would write and sell an article here and there. I had already written a novel and was considering whether to send it to publishers or not.
I was correct in assuming God had a plan. I just didn’t think it would be a side hustle. Not that I had heard that term yet. And I sure didn’t want to do network marketing – which was my first side hustle.
But God laid it out before me so clearly that I knew I had to move forward with it.
My side hustle has blossomed and although my primary job is as a caregiver I am giving daily attention to the side hustle that now includes network marketer, affiliate marketer, and coach.
All three fit together as one. They complement each other and allow me to do things that I enjoy.
My side hustle requires that I invest time and money.
I consider it a long term venture.
Many side hustles won’t replace income immediately. The ones that I consider worthwhile are actually business ventures. And a typical business needs time to become profitable.
So when considering a side hustle ask yourself if this is something that will take time to create the income you need. And are you willing to wait? And will you still enjoy it six months from now?
I found a list of 99 Side Hustle Business Ideas You Can Start Today (which has grown to 119). Some of them I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. Doubtless, there are others that you wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole while I might. Find the list at this link
Many of the ideas on the list will be a good fit for you but go ahead and read it through. See what you think.

Keep in mind the old African proverb, Dig the well before you are thirsty.

Many of these ideas will take time to develop. Some will require investing financially.
Some have the potential of becoming your main source of income with the investment of time and income; diligence and consistency.
The sooner you find your best fit and work it the better.
Through my side hustle journey, I have become convinced that retirement can be an exciting time of life. I am looking forward to new adventures. My side hustle is making it possible.
Want to join me? Just message me.

Three Things You Need to Grow Your Network Marketing Business Online

It turned out, taking my network marketing business online was much easier than I thought it would be and WAY more fun!
Five years of doing things “old school”, I had grown a modest residual check.
I had called my “list” multiple times to get that result. I switched to stalking folks at the mall and servers in restaurants. I got good at engaging strangers. But. like my family and friends, most of them didn’t want to do “a pyramid thing.”
I held home meetings and hotel meetings. I hosted lunch meetings at a local restaurant,  attended all the company events, and drove thousands of miles. I did not want to quit. But I was pretty much done with “old school”.
And then a little ad on Facebook got my attention. It claimed that I could grow my business online.
Yes, it clicked on it and what I learned made so much sense. I knew that I had found a better way. I said goodbye to “old school” and never looked back.
True, there is a learning curve, but fortunately, it isn’t that hard. In fact, I enjoy what I do. I’ve met a bunch of people who are committed to my success – people like my mentor Ferny Ceballos.
I’m happy to share this blog by Ferny with you! Just comment “More Info” below and I’ll get you some free information that can help or you can simply click on the link to learn more.
Look forward to chatting!

By Ferny Ceballos

If you’re tired of prospecting friends and family, doing home meetings, cold calling, chasing after everyone you meet, or being accused of peddling some “pyramid thing”…

Then you’re probably ready to build your network marketing business online.

Nine months into my network marketing business, I had recruited 17 people into my business and ALL of them had quit!

I had held home meetings at my mom’s house, friend’s houses, stranger’s houses, attended company events, regional events and after literally tens of thousands of miles driven and $10,000 in the hole, I was about ready to quit.

It was pretty embarrassing and I absolutely DID NOT want to face the “I told you so” from anyone, so I took a leap of faith and started searching the internet for answers!

By the grace of God and maybe a little luck, I found the website of someone who had built his network marketing empire almost completely online and thus began my journey into Online Network Marketing. I was saved!

Long story short, after 10 years and millions of dollars in income later, I thank God for the online mentors I’ve grown with because they literally saved my life!

And today, as my mentors did with me, I devote much of my time today showing others how they can take their network marketing business online and let go of everything you currently don’t like about building the old school way.

Now, if you want to build your network marketing business online, here’s what you need to know…

First of all, the benefits are YYYYUUUGE!

  • You can generate fresh, qualified leads from wherever (and whenever) you please
  • You can end rejection forever by only talking to people who are highly interested in your offer
  • You don’t need to drive long hours, your startup costs are low, and your business works for you 24/7—without you ever having to pick up the phone!

The best part is that you don’t need to be “techie” or particularly good with computers to get started.

There are three steps required to take your business online, starting with…

Now, I know people have different attitudes as far as personal development and mindset goes.

But my advice is pretty practical.

First, you must get comfortable with the unknown.

Basically, you need to be present and respect the journey.

Know that you’re not going to learn everything you need all at once, in one fell swoop.

When you go online, you’re learning a whole new skill set.

Almost a new profession.

Think of it…

When you learn a new profession, what do you usually do?

Well, you go to school for four years.

We’re not going to have you do that, and it probably shouldn’t take four years, anyway.

However, if there was a school of building a business online, it probably would take a few months to get through all the coursework, so be prepared for a learning curve.

Don’t try to learn everything at once.

Just focus on what’s in front of you.

Master that, implement it, and then move on.

You have to get comfortable with not knowing what’s ahead.

There’s always going to be a new technology that you don’t know about, and new skills that you have to acquire.

Keep that in mind and expect the unknown.

But the other issue is a biggie and comes up often:

It’s the ability to overcome adversity and not give up.

By going online…

Do certain parts of building your business become easier?


That’s the purpose of going online—to create more efficiency, so you’re not doing things that either waste time or you simply don’t like doing.

  • So no more driving around town to get from point A to point B.
  • No more meeting people one-on-one.
  • Or following up over and over after they’ve seen “the plan.”

However, you are still going to face adversity.

You’re still going to hit roadblocks and get stuck.

If you’re somebody that easily gives up when you encounter those types of things, then don’t even try to build your network marketing business.

You have to respect the new skills you’re learning

And be willing to face the tough times.

Respect means when you actually get stuck, you don’t easily give up.

You push through and become resourceful.

An important part of the equation is knowing where to go to find answers or knowing who to ask to find answers (more on this later).

This is vital to your success.

The last thing is…

You’ve got to overcome peer-pressure

There are people that are not going to approve of you doing something that’s different from what they recommend within the company.

Maybe someone in your upline doesn’t want you to explore other methods.

That’s normal.

It’s normal for people who have not built their business this way tend to have a negative attitude.

Human beings fear of the unknown, which is why the first thing I told you was: master the unknown.

It’s natural for people to fear what they don’t know

Not only is it natural to fear the unknown, it’s natural to attack it too.

Know that your upline—even if they have a massive downline—if they haven’t built a business online, then they’re talking about something they don’t truly understand.

Building a business online is completely different than building it offline.

It requires different methods and an entirely different skill set.

Building offline is something you can admire and appreciate—and I certainly do—and respect anyone that’s done it.

But if a leader hasn’t done anything online, and they’re talking ‘smack’ about it, then they have no credibility in my book.

Respect them, but don’t give in to their doubt and fear.

But in today’s day and age, more and more leaders in the network marketing space are starting to accept that you can actually build on social media and using Internet marketing, and the proof is in the pudding.

You see people everywhere who are successfully building online.

The proof is all around you.

You don’t need the approval of anyone else

Move forward no matter what others say to you.

Our community provides a lot of support as it relates to this, and we can offer you advice based on your personal situation.

I’ll tell you how to receive more information at the end of this article.

This sums up mindset:

  • Master the unknown.
  • Learn how to overcome adversity (and not be a weenie).
  • Learn to overcome peer pressure.

Those three things will come up, but now you can be prepared.

The next thing you need is a…

You need an implementation blueprint.

Something you can reference along the way.

And there are primarily two different ways that you can build your network marketing business online.

First, there’s the…

Active social media recruiting

…which you can actually implement right away.

With social media recruiting, you honestly don’t have to learn much of anything.

All you need is a personal account on Facebook (no website required), and some sort of process—may be provided by your upline or somebody in your company—on how to present your opportunity and convert prospects into either buyers or new reps.

You only need to know where to take them, and how to process them.

You can start implementing social media recruiting strategies today to build your network marketing business.

In fact, this strategy is basically equitable to what you’d do offline, except you’re transposing the process online.

The challenge with social media is you’re always busy…

  • You’re always posting.
  • You’re always engaging.
  • You’re always interacting with people.

It produces results quickly (and it can produce massive results), and you can duplicate it quickly, but it’s time intensive.

Most of the time…

People will move beyond simple social media recruiting stuff because they want to create more leverage in their business and to free up more of their time.

And that’s what we’ve been teaching here at Elite Marketing Pro, for the past ten years.

Speaking of which, if you’re ready to move forward now with building your business using “attraction marketing,” I’d like to invite you to sign up for my FREE 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp, where you’ll gain the knowledge to create an automated selling and prospecting system to attract highly-interested prospects to your product or opportunity online.

The next level of social media is…

Passive social media recruiting

…which is about posting valuable content or information that inspires people to reach out to you and ask you what you’re doing.

In fact, a lot of our students are generating dozens of prospects reaching out to them, asking…

“What are you doing? I want to learn more!”

I prefer to start the conversation with somebody when they’re reaching out.

They are coming to you—instead of the other way around.

Then you’re able to create leverage and scale.

All the things you normally would do with social media you’re now able to scale and accelerate your results.

For this, you’re going to need a Facebook Business Page (aka a Fan Page) and a training and lead generation system like what we provide at Elite Marketing Pro.

The idea is for people to reach out to you by going to your website and submitting their information, which can happen 24/7 (while you’re sleeping or at the beach).

They’ll do this in exchange for the valuable information you’ve promised to give them.

They are then automatically sent all the information they need to get familiar with your business and we provide all the tools to allow you to do this in no time!

By the time you get on the phone, they’re 90% sold!

You only answer a few questions, and they’re ready to get started.

It’s all automatic.

That’s what a “funnel” does.

This is how you can passively have prospects come into your business, every single day.

In our business, we have between 500-to-600 prospects reaching out to us, requesting information daily.

There’s no way we could personally talk to every single one of them, so we had to create funnels or process to be able to present offers to people en masse on autopilot.

This allows you to take people that are brand new and fresh, and walk them through a presentation, in an automated way.

That’s essentially what we’re talking about with passive recruiting strategies (which is also referred to as “attraction marketing”).

Now, for the final piece, which is…

It would be very difficult for you to do everything I just described without some personal one-on-one help.

Think about it, when you started in network marketing offline, somebody showed you the next steps to take.

The same is true with building your business online:

You need someone to show you a step-by-step blueprint.

Thus, when you become a customer or client of Elite Marketing Pro, you receive free, one-on-one coaching to ensure you get started right.

We know it’s overwhelming when you’re brand new.

So we take away the worry by having a mentor walk you through everything step-by-step (so you don’t waste time) and tell you if you’re doing things correctly or not.

This immediate feedback means…

You’ll never feel insecure about not being sure what to do next

Or not sure if what you did is correct.

And hey, I know how powerful this is from personal experience.

When I first got started, I spent over $150,000 (mostly on credit cards) trying to build my business without mentorship.

It was pretty costly, to say the least.

However, once I got the mentorship I needed, it put me on the fast track to achieving results.

Two years later, I quit my job.

A couple of years after that, I became a seven-figure producer in my home business, and have done multiple millions of dollars ever since.

I believe you can do it too, but…

You have to make the commitment and start with the first step

So if you’ve always wanted to not only have the right information but to have somebody personally help you, then I highly recommend you learn more about Elite Marketing Pro by signing up for my FREE 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp.

It’s a video course where I walk you through taking your business online.

Because while it is possible to build your network marketing business offline, the way I’m providing you is more efficient, allows you to create income quickly and you can run your business from your laptop.

And just like this information changed my life ten years ago, it can change your life as well.

In fact, I’ll share exactly how I passively generate 300–500 leads per day, 30–50 customers per day, and recruit 70–100 new serious business-builders into my business each month.

You’ll have the tools to build your business automatically—where prospects come to you on a daily basis—ready to sign up and get busy.

So if you’re ready to get started…

Simply click here and I’ll gladly give you access to my 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp.

And if you found this content helpful, I would love to read your comments below!

Ferny Ceballos
Chief Marketing Officer
Elite Marketing Pro


Finally, An Easy Way To Recruit Into Your Network Marketing Business – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads…

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…




In addition to mentoring me, Connie Suarez, Ferny Ceballos is a graduate from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and the University of Southern California, in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering, respectively. After working for 5 years as an aerospace engineer, his entrepreneurial aspirations motivated him to turn to the network marketing and internet marketing industry to escape the rat race. Since leaving Aerospace in 2008, he has personally been responsible for over 11 million dollars in sales online over 10 years in his personal business and helped countless clients produce six-figure and seven-figure incomes promoting their businesses using the internet.

Six Easy Steps to Make 2019 Your Best!

Congratulations! You have already made the best step towards an awesome 2019. You aren’t waiting until New Years Day!

But that is a bonus. I had the same inclination and pulled out my tried and proven Smart Goals Worksheet this week. Then I did a little research and found some timeless truths for us from the master of personal development – Jim Rohn.

So don’t quit reading until you’ve gotten to the end because I have a gift for you.

Here we go:

Your Success in 2019 Step 1 – Find the Right Plan for YOU!

Have you struggled because you are trying to use the plan that works for your upline?

That is what I did for several years.

Maybe you, like me, have had some success doing what your upline is doing but you have to force yourself to do it.

Starting today, don’t wait for next year, give yourself permission to be true to yourself and who you and your values are.

There is more than one way to build a business. Unfortunately, it is sometimes hard for the person who has found their successful way to build to believe that it won’t work for everyone.

But, one way doesn’t work for everyone.

This is what Jim Rohn said:

So what plan is the right plan? The plan that fits you. Each of us is unique and motivated by different factors and you’ve got to develop a plan that is right for you and fits you. Some plans will not be as intricate as others, but we all must have a plan, along with goals in that plan, to move us along. If you are a free spirit, don’t tell yourself you are going to spend two hours a day with a book and a journal. It probably won’t happen and you will just get discouraged. Whatever your personality, your strengths and your weaknesses, develop the plan around them. This is not a one-plan-fits-all proposition.

Keep in mind that I will favor strategies that work for me. I do share ideas that I consider and discard so you may hear what will work for you. But if you can’t see yourself doing what I do. Find someone who is doing what you can see yourself doing and follow them.

One last point – I want to clarify that I am not implying that our plan shouldn’t take us out of our comfort zone.

If your plan doesn’t stretch you how can you expect to grow. It’s the truth!

Now for Step 2 in Having Your Best Year Yet – Set the Times for Implementing Your Plan!

If your life is strictly regulated this is easier than if it is unpredictable.

A schedule will work for some, while more flexible guidelines may be what you need.

What I have is a DMO – daily method of operation. With input from mentors, I have a daily to-do list.

Do yourself a big favor and keep your schedule or to-do list doable.

If you are like me, you will watch a new video of someone achieving phenomenal success. What they are doing sounds great. Their success certainly is attractive.

So, I adjust my DMO to what they are doing. It goes great. My excitement builds. I can see success bursting on the scene by the weekend!

Then I hit a wall.

strugglingI can’t continue at that pace. I am burning out after only a week for Pete’s sake. What a wimp I am!

Then I had an aha moment. You see I am single and I was listening to a lot of couples talk about what they do.

With one couple the husband is very techy – I am not – the wife likes to write – that is me.

In another couple, one is an extrovert – which I am not.

But my aha moment came when one husband mentioned that his wife slept in because she was up until 4 a.m. working on a presentation.

I realized she could do that because she had a partner who would get the kids off to school.

I don’t have a partner. Maybe you don’t either.

Or worse yet, you even have an unsupportive partner perhaps.

Whatever our situation, we need to remember this. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Start with a schedule that you are sure you can do day after day, week after week, month after month.

Then when you master that you can add activities one at a time.

The important thing is to know what you plan to do and then do it. Consistently. Persistently.

I recommend Jeff Olson’s book The Slight Edge. It will build your belief in the value of consistently doing the easy things that will bring success.

Step 3 is Keep a Record of Your Daily Activity.

Your record can be a spreadsheet where you record your daily activities.

Or a journal might work better for you.

If you prefer the spreadsheet leave room for comments about what is working and what isn’t working. Be sure and write down new ideas that you want to incorporate in future activities.

I currently use a journal for recording what I do and a spreadsheet for planning my weekly activities. The spreadsheet is easiest for me to organize what I need to do for the coming week but it doesn’t allow room for the notes I need to take.

So, I record what I do each day in a journal. And that introduces the next step.

Step 4 to Your Most Successful Year Is to Take Time to Reflect.

In my journal, I also evaluate my day briefly. I answer these three questions:

3. What three things worked today?

2. What two things didn’t work today?

1.  What one thing might I do differently?

At the end of a week, I can use those questions to further reflect and the same for every month and year-end.

Here is what Jim Rohn says about the importance of reflection:

Take a few hours at the end of the week to reflect on the week’s activities. Also during that weekly time, take a few minutes to reflect on how this material should be applied to your life and circumstances. Take a half day at the end of the month and a weekend at the end of the year so that you’ve got it, so that it never disappears, to ensure that the past is even more valuable and will serve your future well.

Step 5 Is Crucial to Your Success – Setting Goals.

When you create your DMO, daily method of operation, you need to have a way to determine if you are successful. Goals are how you will measure your success. Keep in mind that success for me will be far different from what you consider success.

Think of it this way. Your DMO is your roadmap. But a good roadmap always has a destination in mind. Your goals are your destination.The future must be planned.png

You also need to have a clear idea of where you are at, don’t you?

The goal-setting process may need to keep that in mind.

For instance, if your goal is to reach the highest level of your MLM company and you have rank advanced halfway to the top, your goals for 2019 will be different from the goals of your new recruit.

Your new recruit may be thrilled to reach your level by the end of next year but you won’t.

Success Step for 2019 Number 6 – Act on Your Plan!

Can you imagine having your holiday planned, you’ve got it mapped out, booked hotel rooms, and purchased tickets for the zip-line adventure or Broadway show and then staying home?

Of course not.

So it is with our plan. We can’t imagine spending time setting goals and developing a daily method of operation and not following through with action.

But, it happens. Doesn’t it?

How do you ensure that it doesn’t happen to you? Let’s let Jim Rohn give us his answer:

What separates the successful from the unsuccessful so many times is that the successful simply do it. They take action. They aren’t necessarily smarter than others; they just work the plan. The time to act is when the emotion is strong. Here’s what happens if you don’t: The Law of Diminishing Intent. We intend to act when the idea strikes us, when the emotion is high, but if we delay and we don’t translate that into action fairly soon, the intention starts to diminish, diminish and a month from now it’s cold and a year from now it can’t be found.

Mel Robbins’ Five Second Rule explains how our brains are actually wired to keep us from acting. It sounds crazy but our brains seek to avoid danger by shutting down new ventures.

So, to get around our brain’s sabotage we need to act within five seconds.


You should read Mel’s book The Five Second Rule but at least watch this video on youtube. –

You’ve read the need for making a plan.

It’s time for action. And if you don’t do it in the next five seconds your brain will start making up ridiculous excuses for not taking action.

So, click here and get started.

Your Best Year Ever S.M.A.R.T. Goals Worksheet

I would love to hear from you and be your accountability partner.
I’ll be in touch,
Connie Saurez

Three Mindset Gaps that Will Keep You Stuck and Sabotage Your Success

Continuing on our quest for “the close” we must consider that the fault lies in our mindset.

Mindset is perhaps the giant killer of all “pros.”

The professional golfer can master the swing and finesse the putt, but the major win will prove elusive if their mindset isn’t in the game.

The NFL team stuck in a losing streak may or may not need a new coach or quarterback, but they will never win until they deal with their mindset.

The winningest MLB team is more likely to make it to the World Series not because they have a winning pitching staff but because they have a winning mindset.

You can have all the leads and prospects in the world…

But if you don’t fix the following three mindset gaps, you will NEVER succeed in your network marketing business.

If that sounds harsh, believe me, I feel you (…I’m still working on some of them myself!)

So I am thrilled to turn this over to someone who is busy overcoming these mindset gaps themselves.

Here are Whit and Cari Higham:

Three Mindset Gaps that Will Keep You Stuck and Sabotage Your Success

Trust us, if you don’t overcome these mindset gaps, you will continue to remain stuck, you won’t find the success you want, and you’ll end up sabotaging your business.

We don’t want that for you (…and neither do you!)

So watch the video below to discover how to overcome these mental blind spots NOW, and save yourself the blood, sweat, and tears of figuring these out the long, hard way.

First, I want to paint a picture for you.

You may recognize this scene…

You’re invited to a home meeting.

You sit down, and all of a sudden, your hosts start drawing circles on a board.

And then they say…

“All you have to do is go find 5 people! And those 5 people are going to go find 5 people!”

We all know how it works, right?

“And those 5 people go find 5 people, and guess what? Then you’re a millionaire!”

Then you start thinking…

“Wow! I only have to talk to 5 people…and success is going to come knocking on my door!”

Well, if you’re reading this article today, you probably realized it doesn’t typically work quite like that.

Which leads us to our first mindset gap…

1. Thinking success is automatic

The obvious problem here is, from that first meeting, it’s put into our brains that it’s going to be easy, that it’s going to be automatic.

That all we have to do is go out and talk to 5 people.

Sure, that’s the way we’re taught, but that’s not a proper expectation!

One of the biggest things you’ve got to realize: success is not automatic.

There are going to be ups and downs.

Every single day we see people get frustrated, people who’ve lost faith in their business and in the process.

But the real problem is not the system.

Instead, it’s all about having proper expectations.

We had to overcome this ourselves.

We thought…

“Wait, we’re doing everything the way we were told. So what’s the reason success isn’t just happening?”

But what we had to realize was that we had to develop specific SKILL SETS to make things work.

Ever feel like this..?

You go to events and you see these top earners walking across the stage, telling their stories, and you think…

“Man, it must have been so easy for them!”

Well, guess what?

It doesn’t matter who your network is or what relationships you have…

Success is NOT going to come easy for anyone, ever.


One thing that sets top earners apart is consistency, because success is largely a product of consistency and leveraging a proper system.

We’ll be talking a little bit more about a system later, but first…

The next mindset gap is…

2. Focusing on your problems, instead of your prospect’s problems

When we first get started in network marketing, our upline often teaches us to push product, so we start promoting our business, bugging friends and family, and spamming links on social media.

These are big “no-nos,” because you’re focused on solving YOUR problems!

  • YOU need the recruit
  • YOU need the customer
  • YOU need the enrollment

…because YOU need the money, right?

If you don’t know our story, that’s how we came into this business.

We were living in our parents’ basement after losing our house when we joined network marketing.

What was our mindset?

“We have to get money coming in—we’ve got to make this work! We’ve got to find those 5 people!”

So we focused on what WE were struggling with, what WE needed, instead of thinking…

“What does our market need? What are they looking for?”

If you want to succeed…

Shift your mind off you and what you need.

Are you focusing on yourself and your frustrations?

Because if so, then you’re just thinking about me, me, me, me!

Instead, you’ve got to…

Start focusing on your prospects and the value you can share

Otherwise, you’ll reek of “commission breath.”

And commission breath stinks!

Your prospects can smell it coming from a mile away.

Don’t forget your prospects aren’t robots!

They’re human beings, going through their own problems and struggles with their own feelings, hopes, dreams, and aspirations.

Here’s the truth…

When you stop thinking about your problems and focus on the needs and concerns of others—that’s when your business will start to grow.

And look, we totally understand this is the hardest thing to overcome, especially when you have real problems going on in your own life.

But try this idea on and see how it fits…

Do your problems need to take up your FULL attention?

If it’s immediately life-threatening, then sure, don’t ignore a life or death situation that must be dealt with that moment.

Otherwise, though, determine if your problems are simply things you’d LIKE to change, but don’t necessarily have to be changed right now today.

Because getting over ourselves is what created our breakthrough.

We got over thinking…

“Man, if only it was easy! If only we had this, or if only we had that.”

Our business exploded when we started focusing exclusively on our prospects

Our business also became easier too, because we started to actually CARE about people.

Honestly, for our first few years in network marketing, we didn’t care much about a lot of people.

We were looking to build a team and figured…

“Oh, we’ll just build relationships with people…once they enroll.”

Now, we look back and think…

“Wow, we were so selfish!”

It took time for us to look past our own happiness, but finally, we thought…

“You know what? The heck with it…let’s just make this work! Let’s focus on THEM.”

And now we focus, focus, focus on other people.

And we also actually enjoy our business, talking to people, and creating relationships, because we don’t care what they do (or don’t) anymore.

We don’t care if they join our team.

We simply care about them being happy with what they’re doing.

And guess what?

That’s what attracts people to us!

That perfectly segues into mindset gap number 3 that we’re going to be talking about.

3. Not thinking like a top earner

What do we mean?

Any of these thoughts qualify…

  • Why would anybody listen to me? I am a nobody!
  • What value do I have to offer? I don’t know anything!
  • How can I teach success if I haven’t already had success?
  • If I don’t have results, why should anybody listen to me?

Look, we get it. Seriously.

When we started online, we had an $80 residual check in our network marketing business, we were $30,000 in debt, living in Whit’s mother’s basement.

So who would want to listen to us?

You would think that that’s what our mindset would have been, but we never once thought like that.

Instead, we had gone through two years of hell.

Two years of traditional network marketing where all we got was rejection…no, after no, after no, after no.

But we learned a LOT in the process.

Just like you have things that you’ve learned too.

You unquestionably have value to share!

Even if it has something to do with a full-time job you’re working.

You have skills!

You have things that you’ve learned in your life or profession that can be related to whatever brand you’re building.

It doesn’t matter the success you have or haven’t had.

Always remember that everybody has to start somewhere.

Every 6-, 7-, and 8-figure earner started in the same place…

With ZERO results!

Everybody starts at square one and has to build up.

And here’s what you need to keep in mind…

There are people out there who need to hear it specifically from YOU!

Do you realize that?

They need it from you.

Think about this…

Take a video of a top earner sitting by his or her fancy car, saying this and that.

How is that relatable to anybody, really?

Where you are right now is in the trenches.

That’s what people can relate to.

Not someone who’s already “there.”

And yeah, it’s great to hear the success stories, because that’s the dream.

But at the end of the day, people want to work with people who are in the trenches, building their business, doing the day-to-day stuff.

You’ll never attract your tribe if you have the mindset gap of…

“Why would people want to listen to me?”

If that’s what you’re thinking, as Whit would say, “Slap yourself!”

(But, you know, don’t hurt yourself.)

We’re all learning and sharing the value we know as we’re falling on our face.

The best teacher is failure after all.

So, if you have stuff that you’ve failed at, or you didn’t get results with, share that information!

Be transparent!

That’s how you build trust.

Let’s recap real quick…

The 3 BIG, show-stopping mindset gaps are…

1. Thinking success is automatic.

Stop it! Right now!

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, what color you are, I don’t care.

Success is not going to come easy.

It’s going to take determination, hustle, drive, and consistency.

2. Focusing on your own problems, instead of the needs of your market.

Make it about them.

Become the education-provider, rather than the spammer.

3. Not thinking like a top earner.

You must start thinking like a top earner, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel like you have value or anything to say.

Because like we’ve said…

Everybody has value to share!

So if you’re a network marketer and you’d like to learn more about building your business online using value-driven and education-based marketing (instead of pitching friends and family, or stalking strangers at the mall like we used to)…

Then I strongly encourage you to sign up for Elite Marketing Pro’s FREE 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp.

You’ll learn even more ways to improve your mindset, connect with your prospects, and increase your chances of building a successful business.

The beauty of being a human being is we each have our own story to tell.

EMP’s Bootcamp contains exact same information we used to get started on our journey of learning how to market ourselves online.

You’ll learn how to use the most cutting-edge online methods to rank advance, sell more stuff, recruit more people, and make a whole lot more “moola” in your business.

So if you’re ready to get started…

Click here to access EMP’s 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp.


Whit & Cari Higham
Super Affiliates
Elite Marketing Pro


Finally, An Easy Way To Recruit Into Your Network Marketing Business – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads…

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…


Whit and Cari Higham


Whit and Cari are network marketers and top affiliates inside the Elite Marketing Pro community. After growing a multiple-six-figure income in less than 10 months, their passion became helping others get results in their own businesses and reach their dreams in life.

The 5-Step Process to Get Inside Your Prospect’s Mind & Position Your Product or Service as Their Perfect Solution

You want to close more often?

We have talked about how getting the close starts with finding the right people. But another factor is to understand what they want so that we are offering the right product to the right person.

I can’t think of anyone more qualified to teach the process of getting inside your prospect’s mind than Bill Pescosolido.

That’s why I am glad I can bring you this article by Bill. Read to the end for a great freebie for attracting the right people to you.

It’s an old marketing adage that people don’t buy your product or service, they buy the BENEFITS of whatever you’re selling.

Sounds cool, right?

…but what does that actually mean?

Well, here’s another way of looking at it…

There’s really only ONE thing any customer buys, and that’s TRANSFORMATION.

A buyer wants something – anything – that will…

Take them from where they ARE to where they want to BE

Thus, whenever you write a post or email message, record a video or Facebook Live, or talk to somebody on the phone, your ability to get them to say “yes” depends on how well you get inside their mind and show them how you can help them get there.

You could be selling…

  • Shakes,
  • Vitamins,
  • Cosmetics,
  • Travel,
  • Insurance, or
  • Precious metals

…doesn’t matter.

You’re really only selling transformation.

Let’s explore the “before and after” of this transformation they’re seeking.

Before = “Unhappy”

Your ideal prospect is unhappy for a particular reason.

Maybe they’re…

  • Overweight
  • Feeling unattractive
  • Stuck in a dead-end job they hate
  • Lacking the energy to keep up with their kids or grandkids

Maybe they’re worried about having enough money to…

  • Retire
  • Send the kids to college
  • Buy or remodel their house

Your company, product, or niche is designed to address this unhappiness in some way – to provide some sort of “after.”

After = “Happy”

“Happy” is where they want to be.

They want their particular discomfort, pain, fear, or problem to resolve, improve, or just go away.

They want to…

  • Look and feel better – to look in the mirror and love what they see
  • Enjoy renewed, youthful intimacy with their spouse or partner
  • Feel free to quit that lousy job
  • Sprint up the stairs after their kids or grandkids without running out of breath
  • Experience the financial freedom to do things, buy things, and experience things they’ve never been able to before

The only way you’ll ever be able to communicate with your prospects effectively is to get very clear about their particular “before” and desired “after” states.

The success of every ad you write, every blog entry you post, every email you send, and every telephone call you have depends on it.

And if you truly want to get inside your prospect’s mind, you’ll need to do some written work…and some deep thinking work.

You’ll want to take some time to research and write down what you discover, beginning with step #1:

Ask yourself what…

  • Pain are they experiencing?
  • Challenges are they facing?
  • Problems do they have?

Dive deep.

The pain, problems, or challenges are often not apparent on the surface.

It’s not just, “I want to lose 10 pounds.”

Why is losing that 10 pounds important?

  • Is it to improve their health?
  • Look better for their spouse or partner?
  • Feel more vibrant and energetic?

It’s not just, “I want to make more money.”

Why is making more money important?

What problems would making more money solve?

  • Is it to remodel the house?
  • Save for their kids’ college?
  • Take a long-postponed vacation?

You must dig deep so you can understand the psychology of your ideal customer.


You’ll want to specifically detail…

  • What are their goals?
  • What are they trying to accomplish?
  • What would their life look like if their pain, problem, or challenge disappeared?
  • How do they want to feel?
  • What do they want to experience?
  • Who do they want to be?

Remember, you’re not selling a product. You’re not selling a service.

You’re not selling a pill or a shake, a lotion or a potion.

Your prospects don’t want to buy those things.

Again, always remember that you’re selling transformation.

And you need to be crystal clear about the before, the after, and the transformation that can take place as a result of what you’re providing your customer.

Next, you’ll need to…

Now it’s time to uncover why might somebody decide NOT to buy your product or service?

One reason might simply be the network marketing or home-based business industry itself.

Unfortunately, in the home-based business industry, many people might have felt scammed, swindled, or taken advantage of.

Maybe somebody took their money and didn’t fulfill their promise – and your customer got hosed.

After all, there are unethical “gurus” out there.

Why might somebody decide NOT to buy from YOU in particular?

Maybe they’re willing to buy, but they’re just not willing to buy from you because you haven’t built up enough trust factor yet.

They might not really know you, yet.

Other objections, of course, will boil down to money and time.

Get clear about why YOUR ideal customer might initially object to your offer.

Now you’ll need to invest some time to…

Defining and getting to know your Customer Avatar can be tricky.

One of the biggest challenges I see is that people focus too much on customer demographics and too little on customer intent.

So let me clear that up for you.

Demographic info and characteristics include the following information about your ideal customer…

  • Name
  • Age
  • Marital Status
  • Job
  • Income
  • Education level
  • Number of children
  • Ages of children

This is all stuff you can just make up.

It’s fine as far as it goes, but it’s not very helpful in terms of getting inside their minds.

When you start digging around and thinking about…

  • How old their home is and how many square feet it is
  • What grades their children are in and the specific schools they go to
  • The customer’s actual annual income year over year

You’re too bogged down in the details.

You’re not really diving DEEP

You’re still swimming on the surface.

This surface information conveys NOTHING about your ideal customer’s INTENT.

What does your ideal customer – your avatar — really want to do?

  • What is their intention?
  • What do they want to accomplish?
  • What’s their ideal “After” state?
  • What is the transformation they’re looking for?

So when you’re thinking about your avatar, don’t just focus on the demographics, because when you start setting up targeting for your Facebook ad campaign you’re going to put yourself in a bind.

If you base your targeting only on demographics – and you don’t include your customer’s intention – you’ll miss the boat entirely.

Instead, you want to…

You have to put yourself where your ideal customer currently is – not where you think they should be.

  • Where are they searching for solutions to their problem or concern?
  • Where do they spend their time online? Offline?
  • What events do they attend?
  • What blogs, forums, or websites do they visit?

Based on your own products and niche, research and write down…

  • The top 5 or 10 blogs, forums, or websites in your niche
  • The top industry events within your niche
  • The top magazines in your niche that your ideal customer might read
  • The top coaches, gurus, or thought leaders within your niche that your ideal customer would follow

THAT information gets you aimed at your customer’s INTENT.

If you discover that your ideal customer is attending a certain event, or visiting a particular blog, forum, or website for information, that’s where you need to meet them.

Meet them with your content and speak to them where they are.

It’s tough to research your customer avatar based solely on demographics.

You need to focus more on their psychology and intent

Examples of intent might be…

  • Are they interested in getting a new car?
  • Do they want to have straight teeth, or to have their teeth whitened?
  • Are they interested in growing a vegetable garden in their backyard?
  • Will they be taking a major vacation in the next six months?

Here are some examples of intent that might fall within our particular niche…

  • Take (or be able to afford) more vacations with their family
  • Have more free time at home with the kids
  • Retire their spouse or partner
  • Retire early themselves
  • Quit their day job

Those examples show the intent of people who might want to get into the home-based business industry, or who might be open to network marketing.

Your ideal customer is looking for an “after” state and a specific intention they want to fulfill

Here’s the truth…

No out-of-shape, overweight person suddenly wakes up one morning and says…

“I really want to buy a treadmill. That’s what I want to do.”

They might actually wake up and say…

“I have to get in shape. I need to lose some weight. After all, I’ve got to be able to fit into my suit again, because I have a 25th high school reunion coming up in a couple of months and I want to look good!”

Treadmill companies are not marketing treadmills!

They’re marketing transformation.

They know no one wants to buy a treadmill.

Their customers want the “after” state that comes from using the treadmill over time.

After all, when you look at treadmill commercials (or any other exercise equipment commercials, for that matter), they always feature people who are in amazing shape using the equipment.

The actors or models in those commercials are super fit.

The guys have six-pack abs and great muscles, and the women are sleek and flexible.

They represent the transformation they’re trying to sell.

Their ideal customers WANT to look like those models or actors.

They want that after state.

In your own marketing, sell the transformation – the “after” state

That’s the only thing people ever buy.

So, again, focus more on intent than on demographics.

Now, as I wrap this up, I just want to remind you about how to speak to your Ideal customer avatar.

Don’t try to drag your customer or audience into a new conversation.

Join the conversation they’re already having in their own head.

Use the words they use, not the words you use.

If your ideal customer isn’t in network marketing yet, and you’re using words like…

  • prospecting,
  • recruiting,
  • sponsoring,
  • downlines and uplines

….they’re not going to know what any of that means.

You’re using your own vernacular and industry jargon that you use every day.

You know and are very familiar and comfortable with those words, but your ideal customer has most likely never heard them before.

You’re not speaking to your ideal customer and the conversation that’s going on in their head.

So always be mindful of the conversation in their head, what their intent is, and what “after” state they want

Focus on the transformation that they’re going to experience when they use your product.

So, in closing, let me say this…

No one wakes up in the morning and says…

“I’m going to buy a system to teach myself about attraction marketing so I can generate more leads for my business!”

Instead, they are thinking…

  • “I wish my business would produce enough money so I could spend more time at home with the family.”
  • “Man, I wish I felt more secure about having enough money to send the kids to college.”
  • “I want to break through and get results in my business the fastest way possible.”

Now, if you’d like to learn more about connecting with your ideal customers almost effortlessly…

Then I strongly recommend getting access to Elite Marketing Pro’s FREE 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp to discover how to build your business using attraction marketing.

This free training will show you how to find prospects online and build your business faster and more efficiently than you ever thought possible.

Qualified prospects will find you – every day – and they’ll already be interested in the transformation you’re offering them.

You can take advantage of these methods starting today—no matter how much (or little) online prospecting and recruiting experience you currently have.

This training is not vague, fuzzy, or “pie in the sky.”

You’ll learn actionable steps you can put to work right away.

And if you take this process seriously, I guarantee that it will change your life and you’ll experience the transformation you’re looking for!

So if you’re ready to get started…

Simply click here and you’ll get access to EMP’s 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp.

And if you found this content helpful, I would love to read your comments below!


Bill Pescosolido
Content Marketing Expert & Super Affiliate


Finally, An Easy Way To Recruit Into Your Network Marketing Business – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads…

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…



Bill Pescosolido is a Certified Content Marketing Specialist and is in charge of the content and email marketing for Pescosolido Marketing, LLC. Prior to joining his wife Michelle in their digital marketing business Bill spent 16 years in Corporate America in sales and consulting roles.

Eight Ways You Might be “Torpedoing” Your Own Success

Yikes! I do not want to sabotage my own success.struggling

So, this blog caught my eye and I knew I wanted to share it with you.

I read through the whole article. It wasn’t that hard really. Vitaly Grinblat is a great copywriter for sure and he kept my attention to the end.

Which of the 8 ways might you be sabotaging – torpedoing – your success do you need to address?

You’ll be glad when you read them and learn what you are doing right. You will be gladder when you read what you need to change in your business.

I’ll be glad I shared this blog with you.

8 Ways People Sabotage Their Success by Vitaly Grinblat, Chief Copywriter & Director of Monetization, Elite Marketing Pro

You’ve been building your network marketing organization, generating some leads, getting some sales, plugging right along.

There’s at least a little evidence you’re doing something right.

But your cash flow could be better, you could use a few more high-performing reps on your team, and predictable, consistent results are still elusive.

If that’s accurate, let me ask you a serious question…

Do you ever feel like there’s something preventing you from being as successful as you could be?

Look, even the heavy-hitters in this business ask themselves that very question, realizing that…

Survival in business requires constant, never-ending improvement

No matter how successful you are, you can never become complacent.

To illustrate, allow me to tell you the story of the most successful U.S. submarine in the Pacific Theater during World War II.

The USS Tang (SS-306) enjoyed an incredible battle record under the command of Commander Richard “Dick” O’Kane, sinking 33 enemy ships in five patrols (a combat record still unsurpassed).

O’Kane received 3 Navy Crosses, 3 Silver Stars, a Purple Heart, a Legion of Merit, a Medal of Honor (the highest award for valor in action one can receive), and several other awards for his service, before retiring as a Rear Admiral in 1957.

Were O’Kane and crew wickedly effective? You bet.

But the Tang might have been even more successful – except for one fatal mistake.

On October 25, at 2:30am, the Tang engaged a heavily escorted convoy near Turnabout Island, as described in O’Kane’s Medal of Honor citation:

In defiance of the enemy’s relentless fire, he closed the concentration of ship and in quick succession sent 2 torpedoes each into the first and second transports and an adjacent tanker, finding his mark with each torpedo in a series of violent explosions at less than 1,000-yard range. With ships bearing down from all sides, he charged the enemy at high speed, exploding the tanker in a burst of flame, smashing the transport dead in the water, and blasting the destroyer with a mighty roar which rocked the Tang from stem to stern.

Tragedy struck when the Tang launched her final, fatally flawed 24th torpedo.

In the chaos of battle, the torpedo broached, immediately turned left, and circled back toward the Tang.

Using emergency power, O’Kane fishtailed his boat, changing course to clear the torpedo’s turning radius.

But this evasive maneuver didn’t work.

20 seconds after its launch, the torpedo struck the Tang amidships.

It left her not just dead in the water, but lost at sea, sinking in 180 feet of water.

Fortunately, Commander O’Kane and eight of his crew survived to tell the tale.

So what, you might be asking, does this digression into naval history have to do with business success?


Look, even the most successful network marketers can end up dead in the water, “lost at sea” by their own failure to recognize how they might be (unconsciously) sabotaging their own progress.

So to help you navigate the waters of network marketing in the 21st century, below you’ll discover the 8 fatal mistakes you might be making—right now—that will torpedo your own success.

Read on to see what course corrections will help you avoid the same fate as the Tang.

If you’re like most people, you went to school for twelve years to learn how to follow directions.

People told you what to do, and rewarded you for how well you followed their instructions.

Then you got a job, where somebody told you what to do.

Your raises and promotions depended on how well you followed their instructions.

But now, you’re in business for yourself.

Suddenly, nobody’s telling you what to do.

You might have lots of ideas, but nobody is there to give you instructions, schedules, or deadlines.

If you don’t “rewire” your mind to a business owner’s mindset, you’re torpedoing your own success.

Back in 1998, when I decided to do my business full-time after working it part-time for 3 years, I walked into my office and asked myself, “What do I do?”

I knew that I had to call people, make appointments, close sales, and recruit people into my business.

I realized very quickly that if I didn’t do something to make money that day, I wasn’t going to last full-time in my business very long.

I had lots of goals: how many people to contact, how many phone calls to make, and how many appointments to set every day.

But the bottom line was this: I needed to make money. Today. Tomorrow. Every single day.

I went to the office each morning with a business owner’s mindset…

  • What do I have to do today to move my business forward?
  • What do I have to do today to make money?
  • What do I need to do to survive?

In those years, making phone calls worked. So I made phone calls.

Setting appointments worked. So I set appointments.

Follow up calls worked to close sales. So I followed up to close sales.

Nobody was going to write me a paycheck.

Nobody was going to tell me what I needed to do. I had to do it.

I was my own boss – and my own employee.

So, look at your business right now and ask yourself…

“Out of a dozen things that I have on my to-do list, what is THE ONE THING I can do today that will move my business forward?”

Focus on that one thing, and then DO that.

That’s the difference between being an employee and being a business owner.

I never stop being shocked when I see people spending their money to place ads – then backing away from asking for the sale.

Not asking for the sale is definitely going to torpedo your business.

You see, selling drives everything in our world.

I think some people are simply afraid to admit that they’re in the business of selling.

That may be because there’s this stigma about selling – the stereotype of the slimy used-car salesman or late-night infomercial huckster.

You definitely don’t want to be THAT person.

But here’s the thing: to make money, you have to sell.

And you can’t succeed in sales if you have a negative opinion about sales.

You can’t be shy about it.

But you don’t have to be pushy or aggressive or shady, either.

The truth is that the most successful salespeople are not pushy or aggressive.

They’re not afraid to ask for the sale or tell people that they work in sales.

They just know how to communicate.

Everything you enjoy in your life – from the groceries to the computer, to that stuff you order from Amazon – all the luxuries you have are there because somebody made a sale.

So you can feel good about that.

Study how great, successful salespeople act, and what they’ve done to get ahead, and then work on acquiring those skills and transforming your attitude.

Lots of people are actually uncomfortable with the idea of making money.

Somewhere deep down inside, they might feel just a little bit guilty.

They might worry that making or having too much money makes them a bad person.

They might actually feel ashamed.

Maybe it has to do with their upbringing, their religious training, or their politics.

If you have issues like that, you’re torpedoing your own success.

Zig Ziglar said…

“You can have anything in life you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.”

As long as you focus on providing value, on solving other people’s problems, and on helping people get what they want, you can feel good about setting a price for it.

As a matter of fact…

The more value you provide, the more money you’re going to make.

So if you have issues about money, get over it!

Train yourself to feel good about making money.

If you’re reading this, I know you have invested time and money in books, courses, training, and coaching programs.

But buying the book or taking the course or whining to the coach isn’t good enough.

You have to work to learn new skills.

You have to continuously sharpen your saw.

The people who don’t take the time to develop skills are torpedoing their own success.

Let me give you an example.

I’m the Chief Copywriter at Elite Marketing Pro.

I’ve focused on writing sales copy, particularly e-mails and sales letters, for years.

I’m always working to get better at it – I’m always sharpening my saw.

One of the ways you learn to write copy is to study other people’s ads, and copy them by hand.

Sales letter after sales letter after sales letter, I write by hand three or four times a week.

Headlines, bullets, openings, closes – I copy them all by hand.

When you do that, get into the flow of the writing.

You learn the framework, the flow, and the structure of that writing.

This process creates a neurological imprint on your brain. And you get better. And it gets easier.

So here’s my advice.

Want to know how to get good at something?

Do it. Over, and over, and over again.

Do it three, four, five, ten, fifty, a hundred times, and you will get good at it – no matter how clumsy or uncomfortable you are when you start.

And when you get good at it, don’t stop.

Get better.

Those people on your AWeber or Elite Marketing Pro list don’t even know you exist until you connect with them.

At the end of the day, you’re in the business of selling.

But who are you selling to? Who are you enrolling into your business?

If you want to build an audience, you must connect with people.

Because guess what…if you keep hiding behind your computer, unwilling to step out of your comfort zone and connect with people, you’re torpedoing your business’s success!

So how do you connect?

Choose a medium – a blog or Facebook post, an email, or a video post or a Facebook live.

Pick one. Just do it.

It’s just a matter of practice.

Do it enough and it will get easier. You might even get good at it!

You have to connect with people every single day.

If you don’t, they’re going to forget all about you and find someone else to follow.

You have to put your money on the line to run ads, buy traffic, and test campaigns so you can generate and analyze real results.

Ultimately, it’s the best education you’ll ever get.

I know it can seem a little bit scary.

After all, when you buy a book or a course, you get physical “stuff” (even if it’s online). You paid for it.

But when you buy traffic or place ads, Facebook charges your card, and the money seems to disappear into the “ether.”

But this investment is different than buying “stuff.”

It’s an investment in data, to learn what works and what doesn’t work.

If you’re not willing to invest in that data, how are you going to move your business forward?

Unwillingness to invest in necessary data will torpedo your business success for sure.

You don’t have to invest a lot of money to start with.

Start small, at say, ten dollars a day.

Once you get comfortable, you can increase your investment little by little to $20, $25, $30 a day or more.

In our business, a logical sequence of numbers creates results.

If you want to sell anything online…

  • You have to place an ad
  • That ad has to generate clicks
  • Clicks have to generate leads
  • Leads have to generate sales

You have to know how many clicks you need to create a lead, and how many leads to create a sale.

You have to know what those numbers are and how they work.

Let’s say you run an ad over time, and it generates 50 clicks, 5 leads, and zero sales.

It’s foolish to conclude…

“I haven’t made any money. 50 people clicked on my ad but nobody bought anything. Nothing’s happening!”

If you don’t understand your numbers, you will drive yourself crazy.

And you will torpedo your success.

Look at the reality of your numbers. Lots of things ARE happening….

  • You’re learning whether the ad is working or not
  • You’re learning who’s looking at your ad
  • You’re generating some clicks and learning your clickthrough rate
  • You’re generating some leads, but not enough leads to generate a sale
  • You’ve learned that you need to generate fifty or a hundred or a hundred and fifty leads
  • Then you can look at the numbers and ask, “Has anybody bought yet?”

Then you might conclude…

“My ad is working. I’m generating clicks. The leads either aren’t converting at all, or aren’t converting as fast as I’d like them to. What might I do about that?

Learn your numbers.

If you want to get results, you must take action.

You need to do something every single day to move your business forward.

  • E-mail your list
  • Do a Facebook live
  • Write a blog post
  • Connect with people on Facebook
  • Create a new ad

Do one of those things every single day.

I can’t imagine taking consistent action like that for 60-90 days and not getting results.

If you don’t take action, that torpedo is circling back around toward you right this very minute.

To be honest, most people aren’t consistent at taking action.

They’ll do it for a day or two – maybe a week at the most – and then look at their results.

And then they stop if they aren’t magically, instantly successful.

They don’t realize that results don’t necessarily show up the very day that you take the action.

Sometimes results take a while to develop and mature.

You must take action. You must take action consistently!

So there you have it – 8 ways you might be torpedoing your business.

As you look back over this list, see if you recognize yourself.

Then take consistent action to develop the skills that will help you correct your course, steer around these obstacles, and avoid torpedoing your own success.

Don’t end up dead in the water; lost in the rough seas of entrepreneurship!

If you’d like some help navigating, we’re here to help!

In fact, if you’d like to learn the latest, cutting-edge digital network marketing strategies to bring your network marketing business into the 21st century…

Then I strongly recommend signing up for Elite Marketing Pro’s FREE 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp.

In it, you’ll learn the skills and strategies to attract people who are already interested in what you have to offer – so you won’t have to pressure, nag, or chase down anybody to “sell” them anything – EVER.

You’ll learn specific, proven actions to take that will help you attract a steady stream of leads online and grow your business right – so that people reach out to you.

It’s the same system we’ve used to create a multi-million dollar online “empire” in just a few short years, and we’ll help you create your own “fair winds and following seas,” allowing you to navigate toward the kind of success you’re aiming for.

So if you’re ready to get started…

Click here to access our 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp today!


Vitaly Grinblat
Chief Copywriter & Director of Monetization
Elite Marketing Pro


Finally, An Easy Way To Recruit Into Your Network Marketing Business – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads…

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…


Vitaly Grinblat


Vitaly Grinblat is a serial entrepreneur, a husband and a father of 3 girls. Before joining Elite Marketing PRO as a lead copywriter, he spent over 10 years in direct sales as Top Producer selling Millions of Dollars in financial services products face-to-face, as well as recruiting agents into his business. In 2005 he decided to jump ship and go online.

Since then, he’s created a number of info-products, generated tens of thousands of leads personally and has written advertising copy that has produced 8-figures in sales.

You’ve Listened, Now You Are Ready to Give Supportive Feedback 

You are a compassionate human being who has chosen to earn an income by representing a company and its products. 

You believe in the products. You have embraced the business model and comp plan. 

And you are beginning to realize that not everyone shares your point of view. 

With the best of intentions, your upline tells you that it is a numbers game. All you have to do is so many presentations a day. 

But now you realize that approach doesn’t work for you; it isn’t you. 

The biggest reason you have not felt successful with old school techniques is your agenda. 

Doing 5 presentations a day. Doing 1 presentation a day. Doing X number of presentations a day is an agenda. And that unwittingly is setting you up to fail.

Reflective listening allows your friends (11)

The Five ListeningSkills work best when you release any agenda you may have.

The good news is that the Five Listening Skills help you release your agenda. 

By now you have released your agenda if you have used Reflective Listening, InterpretiveListening, and Helpful Questions. 

As a result, you believe you understand what your friend wants and doesn’t want. You are positioned to be their best friend by giving them Supportive Feedback. 

Most of us don’t want to be told what we should do which is why old school network marketing gives our profession a bad name. 

Instead, you are going to give your friend feedback that tells her what you have heard her say and you will express the emotions that you have about her choice with Supportive Feedback.Female college friends talking on campus 

It will feel comfortable if you have patiently listened with Reflective Listening, InterpretiveListening, and Helpful Questions. 

What does Supportive Feedback sound like? There is a formula that you should follow that will require a little practice but once you have mastered Supportive Feedback you will be ready for the Confident Close. 

Here is the basic framework of Supportive Feedback: Reflective listening allows your friends (9)

I feel [fill in the specific feeling you have] 

when [state the specific statement your friend has made] 

because [give your specific, personal reason for feeling the way you do] 

Did you notice that you must be specific and you will need to own your feelings? 

Your Supportive Feedback should always start with “I feel.” Until now you have focused on what your friend was feeling and thinking. 

Now you need to ask yourself a few questions, like: 

  1. How do I feel? If you were posting on Facebook what emoji would you use? Are you feeling confused, disappointed, concerned, anxious, perturbed, glad, relieved? There are many more emotions. It may help you to make a list of feelings and emotions. As a rule, our culture does not recognize feelings. You need to become comfortable with your emotions and help your friend to do so as well. Once, you have identified what you are feeling, you have the first element of your Supportive Feedback. 
  1. For the second element, you must identify what about the situation is making you feel this way. Use pronoun “you” carefully so you don’t make Supportive Feedback feel like an accusation. 

It would be better to say: 

I feel disappointed when I hear you say… 

Than: I feel disappointed when you say… 

  1. Finally, you need to communicate to your friend why it makes you feel this way. You will own your feelings. 

 Reflective listening allows your friends (10)

You can express a positive emotion or feeling like this: 

You have listened to your friend talk about wanting to quit her job. She has said that she is willing to do whatever she must to be able to stay at home with her children. 

I feel so hopeful 

when you say that you are willing to do whatever 

because there are lots of women in my company who are seeing great success while working from home. 

You can express a negative emotion or feeling like this: 

You have been listening to your sister talk about how frustrated she is by billing paying. She has concluded that there is nothing she can do and will say nothing. 

I feel sad 

when I hear you plan to do nothing to change the billing paying routine 

because I know you have several options available to you. 

You use Supportive Feedback to: Two women in living room talking and smiling

  • Role model open, honest and direct communication. 
  • Communicate what you are feeling so your friend doesn’t need to guess. 
  • Ensure that you recognize and own your feelings. 
  • Move towards a Confident Close. 

You may find Supportive Feedback hard because: 

  • You may have difficulty recognizing and/or expressing emotions. 
  • You may not believe that the structure of I feel, when, because is important. 
  • Using these elements will feel awkward until you have practiced them. 
  • You may be tempted to bring your agenda to the table. If this listening skill it is to be supportive you must let your friend’s agenda still be the driving factor. 

Supportive Feedback is vital because: 

  • It clarifies your conversation. 
  • It allows you to direct the conversation to a conclusion. 
  • It establishes you as a leader who will serve and not manipulate. 
  • It helps you support your friend in the best decision for them. 
  • You still must guard against your agenda ruling the conversation. 
  • Communicates to your friend that you put her first and will support her decision. 
  • It opens the door to a Confident Close. 



Practice makes good; more practice makes better. 

Practicing Supportive Feedback 

Take each scenario and use the basic framework of Supportive Feedback to lead your conversation to the Confident Close. These scenarios are fiction so you can use a little fiction with what you might have learned in the first part of your conversation. The important thing is to get comfortable with the framework of Supportive Feedback and to keep it focused on your friend’s agenda, not yours. 

Reflective listening allows your friends (12)

  1. I feel [fill in the emotion or feeling you are experiencing.] 
  1. When [fill in with what makes you feel that way. Use pronoun “you” carefully so you don’t make yourSupportive Feedback feel like an accusation.] 
  1. Because [fill in with why it makes you feel the emotion or feeling that you do.] 

Use pronoun “you” carefully so you don’t make your Supportive Feedback feel like an accusation. 

You want a statement like this: 

I feel______________ when ___________________ because ______________________________. 

  1. Your sister has told you she hates paying bills because money is tight. She says that she is ready to do something different to get different results. 
  2. Your best friend says that she wants to work from home and is going to start back with the direct selling company she was with before – it isn’t your company and she quit because she didn’t like the customer service or her up line. 
  3. Your sister says that she would love to take your essential oils but they cost too much. She is going to get some from Vitamin Cottage. 
  4. Your friend says that she loves your products and will be a customer but that she doesn’t have time to be a distributor. 
  5. Your friend says that she needs to do the business but she is so afraid of sharing with people.

Well done. You are almost done. When used to focus on your friend’s agenda the four listening skills Reflective Listening, Interpretive Listening, Helpful Questions, and Supportive Feedback have brought you to the Confident Close. You can be confident because you better understand the friend you have been listening to. You have a clearer idea of what she wants and how your products and company opportunity might fit in.

You are ready for Don’t Leave Your Friend or Your Business Hanging: Execute a Confident Close.

We Can Get Smarter as We Get Older

And yet you may have believed the myth out there that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

I don’t know about old dogs but I am believing the thoughts of Rawan Tarawneh, MD, an assistant professor of neurology in the division of cognitive neurology at the Ohio State University.

“Some of our brain functions – such as short-term memory, processing speed, and visuospatial functions – show some decline with healthy aging,” she says. “On the other hand, language functions tend to remain well preserved as we get older.”

Her opinion isn’t the only voice. Research from Harvard University and Massachusetts Institue of Technology indicate that arithmetic skills don’t peak until age 50, and vocabulary and cumulative intelligence peak even later, like into the 70’s.

I totally believe the science because I am living it.

I do have a little bit of an edge in choices I have made.

I chose to quit counting my age increases at 21. It was sort of a whimsical decision but I mostly ignored the cumulative effect on my age each birthday.

Then I began to refuse to join AARP and the La Junta Senior Citizens.

I can’t prove this but I believe those two choices helped me avoid the mindset of aging.

But then an equally important edge was in the all natural supplements I began taking at the same time I took on the biggest challenge of my life.

Here is what I know.

Before I made those changes I was noticing memory issues.

I realized I was unable to find words I wanted to use.

There were times that our staff told me I had said something and I had no memory of it.

I was getting ready to “retire” and I figured it was confirmation that it was time for me to leave.

My daughter introduced me to network marketing and all natural “anti-aging” products.

That opportunity and those products were meant to provide an additional stream of income. But they have transformed my life.

Building the business has enriched my life and grown me quite unexpectedly.

And as far as the anti-aging products. After taking one of them for several months I noticed that words were easier to think of. And I felt like my memory was working better.

Then after several more months, it truly was back. I was remembering. One event was memorable.

I wanted to make a recipe I had filed away in the past. I pulled it out of the file box and stuck it between two books on a shelf in the kitchen.

A couple of days later I was ready to make the recipe so I reached for it, but it wasn’t there!

But my memory was clear. I was sure that it should be there so I lifted the book it was supposed to be next to.

And there it was!

My memory was so sure that it was there that I knew where to look.

I recommend taking on new challenges as you age. And taking my anti-aging products wouldn’t hurt.

If you want to know more message me at


If you would like more information

Are Facebook “Likes” Important for Marketing Your Network Marketing Business?

Ever wondered what Facebook “likes” are all about?

And if they’re actually important for your pages, posts, and status updates?

If so, you’re in luck! Because today I have brought to the blog Social Media Strategist Helen Martin as our guest blogger. Helen is going to discuss all things likes, and some things you should be aware of in relation to the importance of likes.

You can watch the video or if you choose you can read Helen’s content below. Take it away Helen . . .

So…likes, are they a good thing? Do you need them? Is there a downside?

Watch the video below to find out!

Okay, here’s the deal…

Likes are CRITICAL to you when you first start your page!

You might know you need about 100 likes on your page before you can start advertising.

Now, the reason for that, if you’re not aware, is there’s a lot of dodgy people out there in “Internet land.”

They’ll set up a page and want to advertise straight away.

It’s a huge red flag to Facebook if somebody sets up a Facebook page and starts advertising straight away, yet they have no fans or followers.

So, you want to make sure you get those 100 likes first before you do any advertising!

The misconception that can happen, however, is an over-emphasis on how important likes are.

So, let me explain.

Likes are new people you can build relationships with

That’s what going online is all about, connecting with people wide and large, from around the world, that you wouldn’t ordinarily be able to connect with.

You want to build up your following and build up the cold audience coming to you so you can create a relationship with them.

So, it is important for that reason.

Also, it is an indication that people are there, and they’ve chosen to like your page or follow your page, so it is a bit of social proof.

So, there are the good things about likes and why they’re necessary.

New people to talk to, new relationships to build on, and that’s cool.

What is the downfall of likes?

And this is something that I see in the community that I think you need to be aware of, if you’re not already.

The downside of likes is…how should I put it?

The ego we attach to a silly number

Does that make sense?

How caught up do you get in the number?

“Oh, I’ve got 100, that’s awesome.”

Now, that’s a milestone worth celebrating because then you can do ads, but then you want 1000 and 2000, it’s like…

“Oh, this is awesome. I’m growing my fans. I’m growing my following, and this is really cool.”

People get caught up in the social proof side of it, in the ego side of the likes.

What’s wrong with that?

Exactly that, people get caught up in their own ego.

Do likes equal dollar signs?

Think likes equal dollars?

Well, likes don’t equal sales.

Likes can be a very damaging thing for you to focus on.

The danger is, you get caught up in thinking that the number is so important, that you go and buy likes.

I know there’s a lot of people in the community that have done that, and you may have done that because you’re just not aware that it can be damaging for you.

I want to explain this to you, so you understand why you don’t want to follow that strategy.

But I just want to preface by saying if you’re one of those people that’s done that, don’t freak out.

Social media moves that fast, you can recover.

You’re just going to have to work twice as hard to get engagement from the people that are there.

Let me just explain this to you briefly.

There are strategies that you can follow to pay some money, and you can get thousands and thousands of likes within a few days.

There might be some of you that don’t know this is an option, this is a good thing because I want to make you aware of it, so you don’t do it.

Don’t EVER buy “bulk” likes!

The reason for that – just think of this for a second…

You’ve got 10,000 people on your Facebook page, and no one’s engaging with you, or you’ve got 200 people on your page, and they’re all engaging with you, and interacting with you, and they love you.

You do a Facebook Live and they’re commenting and you’re getting engagement and interaction.

What do you think is better?

The 10,000 people for the social proof that you might look good, or the 200 people that are engaging and interacting with you on a regular basis?

Which one do you think is more important to you and your business moving forward in this land of social media?

There is a terrible training out there to get 10K likes in 48 hours.

It screws up your page!

Now, once again, if this is you, please don’t panic because this is social media, you can recover.

What I would recommend though, is to just work twice as hard for the engagement because you could have 10,000 people there that are from non-English-speaking countries.

I know the strategy, I’ve looked into it.

For a couple of hundred dollars, you can get 10,000 likes.

Please don’t use that strategy for your business.

Smaller, quality likes is the way to go

If you have bought mass likes, don’t freak out.

I speak to students all the time who have done this, and I can tell immediately.

I can go to someone’s page and say…

“You’ve 8,000 people but only 15 people are watching your Lives, and no one’s liking your post. So, what’s going on here?”

And then they’ll admit…

“Yeah, I bought some likes.”

What that does for the Facebook algorithm is damaging. There are all these people there, but no one’s engaging with this person.

So, let’s say I’ve got 10,000 likes…

But when I do a Facebook Live no one’s watching, no one’s engaging.

There’s just really nothing there.

To Facebook, the algorithm is contemplating…

“Okay, Helen’s got 10,000 people there, but no one’s engaging with her.”

Now, in the world of social media, there are thousands and thousands of posts going through everybody’s News Feed and Facebook has to filter those posts and work out…

“What are we going to show in front of what person?”

They’re going through all their calculations of their algorithm to work out who they show what.

If I’ve got 10,000 people there, but no one’s engaging with me, Facebook’s algorithm is basically saying…

“People don’t really like Helen’s stuff, so we’re not going to show Helen’s stuff to her people, or anybody, because there’s no real engagement there.”

Versus, if I’ve got a couple of hundred people who are engaging with me, they’re commenting in, and I’m engaging back, the algorithm is calculating…

“Oh, these people like Helen’s stuff. We’re going to continue to organically push out Helen’s content because people like her, and they’re engaging with her.”

Do you see the difference?

So don’t get caught up with the ego of the number of likes.

Instead, really concentrate on engagement.

How do you get engagement?

If you’re not doing Facebook Lives, you’re doing your business a disservice

With Facebook Live, people get to see you, hear you, know that you’re genuine, feel your personality, see that you care and show empathy.

That’s where people connect with you.

Make sure you’re doing Facebook Lives.

For those of you that have chosen to buy likes, once again, don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s just a matter of moving forward.

Never look back.

Whatever you’ve done on social media in the past, don’t worry about it, just keep moving forward.

Think…Yep, I did that, I know I need to work harder to get the engagement back, because I’ve got all these people sitting there that probably don’t even speak English, and they’re never going to buy my stuff.

They’re not the people that I want to continue to engage with and build a relationship with.

So, you’re going to have to work twice as hard when you do a proper likes campaign, where you can target appropriately, and get the right audience.

I get it when people say…

“It’s costing me over a dollar for a like, and I can pay 200 bucks for 10,000 likes.”

That’s the ego.

We don’t want the ego.

We want QUALITY people on our page

…we want to engage with people.

If it’s too good to be true, like spending a couple of hundred dollars to get 10,000 likes, there’s a reason why that’s too good to be true.

Yes, it might be more expensive to run a likes campaign and it’s fluctuating between 50 cents, 60 cents, 80 cents, a dollar, likes campaign can do that.

But that’s the way you want to get your pre-qualified people that you’re going to build a relationship with.

When people know, like, and trust you, you know what they do?

They buy from you!

That really needs to be the strategy.

Also, I just want to add, when you first start your page and you’re concentrating on those first hundred likes, you think…

“Oh, what do I do with these people? Do I reach out to them?”

My recommendation, unless they comment, is not to reach out to them…don’t stalk people.

It’s that ugly car salesman, when you walk into a car yard or even a retail shop, and someone’s on you in a second, asking…

“Can I help you? What do you want? Blah, blah, blah,”

And you’re thinking…

“Hey, back off for a minute, buddy. I want to be in your shop, but just give me five seconds to breath.”

When somebody likes something on your page, and you jump on them straight away and send them a message…

“Thanks for liking my stuff!”

That’s almost the same ‘stalkerish’ thing.

Take your time when people comment

…and when people comment, that’s when you comment back.

Ask a question rather than just saying…

“Thanks for being here!”

Ask them a question so they can answer back and then you can have a real conversation.

Then, the Facebook algorithm loves you because it’s not just a one off comment, you’re actually having a conversation.

Hopefully, I’ve made it clear to you…

Don’t get caught up in the vanity or the social proof of likes

Yes, we want them.

Yes, we need them.

Yes, we need new people coming to our page that we want to build relationships with, but don’t go chasing them for the wrong reasons.

Don’t go chasing them for your ego.

Don’t go chasing them just for the social proof, that’s not going to equate to leads and sales.

When you get really good at Facebook Lives, you can get leads and sales.

You ask for the engagement from a Facebook Live.

“If you’d like some free training on attraction marketing, if you’re not sure what that is, but you’d like to start to learn how to attract people to you online instead of chasing your family and friends, just drop the word training down below and I’ll send that free training over to you, as soon as I finish my Live.”

Don’t just dictate to people on a Facebook Live, actually ask for the engagement!

Give a call to action and get people to engage with you!

The more engagement you have, the Facebook algorithm will work in your favour.

Now, if you’d like to learn more cutting-edge Facebook strategies to bring your network marketing business into the 21st century…

Then I strongly recommend getting access to Elite Marketing Pro’s FREE 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp and discover how to build your business using attraction marketing.

You’ll learn all about the specific tools and techniques we use to connect with prospects online, so you’ll never have to act desperate, chase down or strong-arm prospects, or deal with cold calling and rejection, ever again.

These methods allow you to build your business automatically—where prospects reach out to you (instead of you having to reach out to them).

The bottom line is that, in today’s age, you don’t need to be pushy, obnoxious, or overly-aggressive to build a successful business!

So if you’re ready to get started…

Click here to access our 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp today!


Helen Martin
Social Media Strategist
Elite Marketing Pro


Finally, An Easy Way To Recruit Into Your Network Marketing Business – Rejection FREE – Without Wasting Your Time & Money Chasing Dead Beat Prospects & Leads…

Claim Your Free Internet Recruiting Bootcamp…

Download our free ten-day Bootcamp to get started.

We’re here to help you learn to build your business online.


Helen Martin


Helen Martin teaches home-based business owners how to leverage social media to build their businesses, specializing in social media strategies and personal branding. Helen’s mission is to raise the professionalism of those in the home-based business industry so they can build a thriving business using 21st-century methods.

Now you can make a difference in your friend’s life with Helpful Questions. 

Now you can make a difference in your friend’s life with Helpful Questions.  

Have you ever found yourself wanting a spouse or close friend to know what you want instead of having to tell them? 

The picture that comes to mind is a husband, who is clueless, asking his wife what is wrong. She coldly turns her back to him and says, “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.” 

It makes for a funny sitcom episode. But in life, it is anything but funny. 

So, wouldn’t it be great if you could discern what others want by listening to them? 

With the Five Listening Skills, you can! 

Where we tend to go wrong is to start with a question. 

If you first use Reflective and Interpretive Listening, you will assure your friend that you care about what she is feeling. 

She will then be ready for you to ask a Helpful Question. You will be rewarded with learning what your friend needs for you to know so that you can support her in the best decision for her. 

Without using Reflective and Interpretive Listening before asking a Helpful Question will result in a shallow answer that doesn’t come close to the heart of your friend’s answer.

What is a Helpful Question? 

It is a directive question you ask that cannot be answered with a yes or no. 

You want to direct the conversation in the most helpful area for your friend. This is not where you pick up the agenda you have released. 

But since you have been using Reflective and Interpretive Listening you have learned what is on your friend’s mind. 

Now it is time to dive deeper with a Helpful Question. 

This requires curiosity. You may be reluctant to follow your curiosity. You may have been conditioned to ignore your curiosity because it is considered rude. 

Reflective listening allows your friends (3)

Would you agree that curiosity is not rude when it is stirred by love and concern for someone else? 

For example, if your sister says she just got a positive test from the doctor. She may need for you to be curious about the results. She may need for you to be curious about how she is feeling about the results. 

If she didn’t have the need to talk about the test results would she have mentioned them? 

Put yourself in her position. Does she need for you to start telling her what she should do? How do you feel when someone gives you unrequested advice? 

This can be hard if you believe that you have something that will help her. 

If she has a health problem that your product can help with . . . 

If she wants to earn money working from home and your comp plan is perfect for her . . .

Remember this: 

Wait patiently. 

Listen lovingly. 

When the time is right, you will be able to share what is on your heart, if you have allowed her to share what is on her heart. 

Consider this quote by Roy T. Bennett, “Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” 

You want to make your question directive and prompt a complete answer by asking an open-ended question – one that cannot be answered with a yes or no answer. 

Reflective listening allows your friends (5)

An open-ended question usually starts with one of the following words: 

  • Who 
  • What 
  • When 
  • Where 
  • Why 
  • How 

 Here are some examples of closed-ended and open-ended questions: 

Closed: Are you worried about the test results?

Open: How do you feel about the test results?

Closed: Is blue your favorite color?

Open: Why is blue your favorite color?

Closed: Do you want to quit your job?

Open: What do you see yourself doing in five years?

You get the idea. 

We sometimes hesitate to ask questions, but if you have used the first two Listening Skills you have begun a process that will feel natural as you ask a Helpful Question. 

Think about it as providing a service. 

You will be listening. Most of us don’t have many if any listeners in our lives. That creates a vacuum. When you show up with a listening attitude, your friend will fill that vacuum with words from her heart. 

Here is what you will provide your friend if you listen to her with a Helpful Question: 

  • You will encourage her to share what is on her heart. 
  • You will help her talk it out, which is one of the best problem-solving techniques. 
  • You will assure her that you are listening; that what she thinks is important to you. 
  • You will move the conversation along in a direction that is helpful for your friend. 
  • You can’t ask Helpful Questions and work your agenda. 
  • You are ready to give Supportive Feedback to your friend and then make a Confident Close. 

You may have difficulty with Helpful Questions because: 

  • You feel that asking questions is rude. 
  • It takes thought to know which way you can best direct the conversation. 
  • You need to be listening for your friend’s feelings as well as the content of her words. 
  • You still need to release your agenda 

Practice makes good. More practice makes better. 

Helpful Question Exercises. Here are some statements that might have been made as a result of Reflective and Interpretive Listening. Some of these statements will tempt you to skip getting more information – information that will better serve you and your friend as you move forward. 

Practice patience. 

These practice Helpful Question statements require that you imagine what the previous Reflective and Interpretive Listening steps provided you. As you answer use directive, open-ended questions. Consider what you imagine your friend is feeling. Ask yourself what information do you need to understand what they are feeling like and what they need to hear themselves say to make the best decision. Be careful. Some of these statements will make you want to share your companies comp plan or your product’s health benefits. Don’t do it. Not yet! 

  1. Yes, I do resent that John doesn’t help more with bill paying. It feels like he avoids the stress and lets me deal with it. 
  2. My job, you know how much I used to love it. I wanted out of the other one and now this one feels the same. 
  3. I hate how I feel jealous of Cassie. I would just like once to have something she wants instead of the other way around. 
  4. I worry about the car every time I drive to work. It is a long commute and I see the odometer keep nudging toward 200,000. 
  5. I wish I felt as good as you. You seem to be aging well. 
  6. I can’t believe that summer is ending. It feels like forever before my next vacation. I took time off last month. But I already need more time off. 
  7. Frank’s schedule is crazy. The kids hardly see him anymore. He feels guilty and I feel resentful. 
  8. I would like to have a business like you but I am not sure I could do what you do. 

Congratulations, you have put away your agenda and listened Reflectively and Interpretively to open an opportunity to ask Helpful Questions.

With these three Listening Skills, you have learned more about what your friend or family member wants and needs in life. 

You know what their hopes and dreams are. 

They know that you care about them. They might be thinking in more positive terms about what you are doing – about your hopes and dreams. 

So now, with your agenda still safely tucked away, it is time for you to give your friend some Supportive Feedback.