If you could learn five listening skills that would make you a better recruiter. . .

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If you could learn five listening skills that would make you a better recruiter. . .

Would you be interested? 

What if those skills would be useful in other areas of your life? 

Would that interest you? 

With these five listening skills, you can improve: 

Your relationships 

Your job 

Your friendships 

Your service to others 

Your spiritual life 

And your business! 

I emphasized your business not because it is necessarily the most important to you. 

My business isn’t most important to me, but in this book, we will focus on your business; because your business finances the rest of your life. 

The wonderful part is, that if you focus on being a better listener for your business, it will spill over into the other areas of your life. Because these Five Listening Skills work in any human interaction! 

And if you will practice your listening skills in your relationships, job, friendships, service to others and your spiritual life, your improved listening skills will automatically benefit your business. 

As you become a better listener you will develop a system to be a better recruiter – you will become an Intentional Recruiter. 

You will be an Intentional Recruiter as your focus turns to the agenda of people around you. Your listening skills will open new conversations. Conversations that you won’t control. That could be scary. But you will have a new level of awareness that will point you to the people who want what you are offering. 

You may recruit fewer people. 

But you will more effectively recruit the people you need and who need what you have. 

So, if you want to change your life and your business . . . 

. . . read (listen with your mind) on! 

 If you make listening and observation your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk. (2)

As Robert Baden-Powell says, “If you make listening and observation your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk. 

But listening isn’t easy; we must learn how to listen. 

You will be glad you learned to listen; because as Doug Larson says, “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.”  

Perhaps you are wondering who am I to preach listening to you. 

Well, I am a natural listener, who sucks at listening. 

What do I mean “a natural listener”? You might be a natural listener too. 

Do you recognize that people come to you and share their heartache and deep dark secrets? 

You may be a natural listener. 

Like when you are at the pool reading a riveting mystery and the gal next to you starts telling you about her failing marriage. 

All my life that has been the case. Even when I wasn’t equipped to listen properly, people shared with me. 

In my freshman year of college, a friend shared something with me that I was unprepared for. I had no idea what to do with the information she shared with me. 

To my shame, I just forgot about it, and a few weeks later I said something that must have been very hurtful to her. 

She looked hurt as she said, “Don’t you remember what I told you?” 

I still didn’t have anything to say that would help her. I hope she got help from someone; because she sure didn’t get help from me. 

So, some people just are easier to talk to. I may be one of them. You may be one of them. But being a natural listener is not what qualifies me to teach you about listening. 

You see, even if we are natural listeners, we still must learn to listen. 

Listening is a skill that if nurtured will serve those who are in your life. 

I had to learn just like you. 

I have failed — I have learned. 

I have trained others. 

For fifteen years, I was the director of a nonprofit organization that provided services to women and their families through our volunteers. Part of my job was to train those volunteers. 

A large part of the training was teaching Five Listening Skills. 

I have adapted those Five Listening Skills for network marketers. 

You can learn those skills, and you will see them benefit your relationships and your business. 

You will find that you can relax when meeting someone new; because these skills take the pressure off. 

You will make new friends and help others in ways that you never imagined. 

That’s because of something Alan Alda said, “Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.” 

I would add, listening is being willing to be changed by the other person. 

Who can benefit from learning these Five Listening Skills? 

These Five Listening Skills are for you if you are: 

  • New to network marketing 
  • A veteran network marketer 
  • A Facebook or digital marketer 
  • An owner of a brick and mortar business 
  • An educator 
  • A spouse or parent 

These five listening skills are not for you if you are: 

  • Someone in a hurry. 
  • Someone who is successfully using “old school” techniques, unless you are a true leader ready to adapt old methods to new times. 



Are you in? Listening is hard. 

Consider this quote by Peter Drucker, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” 

Listening isn’t easy but it will reward you in countless ways. 

Here is what you are going to learn: 

  • Four Common Listening Blunders 
  • Four Cures for Ineffective Listening 
  • Five Listening Skills 
  • How the Five Listening Skills Become a Recruiting System 
  • Strategies for Listening Online and Offline 

 I guarantee, learning to listen is a cure for the NFL (no friends left) syndrome. That’s because of the truth of a quote by Karl A. Menninger, “Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” 

You do want to draw people to you and your business, don’t you? 

So, let’s get started. 

We are plagued in our communication by four common listening blunders. 

Once, you have identified them, you are ready to do away with them. Magnetic Listening will help you. 

First, we are often controlled by a closed mind or an agenda. 

Having an agenda will close your mind to other possibilities. 

How do you recognize that you are being controlled by your agenda? You feel frustrated with someone’s response to your question or comment. 

If we leave our agenda out of the conversation, we won’t be discouraged by the direction it takes. But how do you know if an agenda controls you? Here are a few clues: 

  • You are using a script that someone taught you. 

The problem with scripts is that your friend doesn’t have a copy. Scripts are great to help you see natural ways to talk about your business. But with Magnetic Listening, you will be comfortable with impromptu conversations that will become tailored to the needs of your friend. 

  • You feel discouraged or frustrated by the direction the conversation takes. 

You want to share the exciting new business you are in and your friend is talking about wanting to find the perfect job. 

Or you want to share about the revolutionary new all-natural supplement that could help your sister have better health and she talks about seeing a new doctor. 

  • Your friend raises an objection that leaves you speechless. 

This will happen if you see yourself as the message instead of the messenger. You must have a third party that is the message. 

It can be a call or zoom meeting with someone in your upline or even cross line. 

It can be a recorded video. 

It can be a website. 

If you struggle referring to third-party sources, ask yourself why. 

Sometimes we want to come across as the one with the knowledge. Have a heart to heart with yourself. Explain to yourself that third-party sources are the most effective way to get the information to your friends. You can still come across as knowledgeable by introducing them to the source of the knowledge. 

Sometimes we don’t trust our up line. You may not want someone to put the “hard sell” on your best friend. 

I had that fear. But after a call or two, I realized that I could trust my sponsor and upline. Give your upline a chance. If there is part of their approach that you are uncomfortable with, talk to them about it. 

Sometimes it is the fear of new technology. Zoom.us is used widely today by network marketers and is user-friendly. But if you are unsure how to use it ask your upline for help and get started using technology. You will become proficient. Until then laugh off the mistakes. Your friends will laugh with you, not at you. 

Second, we are limited by not empathizing or listening to understand. 

Stephen Covey said that one of the seven habits of highly successful people is to first seek to understand, then to be understood. 

When we fail to first understand, we have overlooked one of the keys to being heard. 

The problem is that you may not recognize that you aren’t listening to understand. 

Just to be safe, assume that you aren’t listening to understand and learn the five listening skills. 

Third, you are distracted by surroundings. 

You can’t get rid of all distractions. But you can be aware of their effect. 

If you are going to a coffee shop, there will be the traffic of other customers and sounds of coffee machines. 

If you go to someone’s home, there may be children or pets. 

No matter where we go, we cannot escape the phone. 

Fourth, you are bound by preconceived ideas. 

One example of a preconceived idea is common with those of us who are “unemployable”. For us, there is no attraction of the “perfect job.” We see that as a myth or lie. We see jobs as insecure. 

But that is our perception. It is a preconceived idea that your friend may not share. 

You may believe in all-natural health care options. That is a preconceived idea. Your friend may have no confidence in supplements and will only follow a doctor’s advice. 

You cannot control your brother’s perceptions. He may not want to share with family and friends. 

You do not want to change your ideas, but you need to be aware of them and their effect on your ability to listen effectively. 

The good news is that there are Four Cures for Ineffective Listening. 

Your best line of defense to the listening blunders is Magnetic Listening but there are other ways you can be a more effective listener: 

First, release your agenda. 

Recognize that you have an agenda and let it go. 

One of the biggest agendas is the need to sign up people. This probably is fueled by your need to make extra money. Or your desire to win an incentive trip. 

Remember that you are not an employee. You are a business owner. 

Employees expect to be paid soon after they have worked. 

Business owners know that they are working towards making a profit; but that it is a process that requires patience. 

If you have realistic expectations, your agenda will be less of a problem. 

Talk with your sponsor and other upline mentors to set realistic expectations. 

Second, empathize so that you can listen to understand. 

Empathy is the act of putting yourself in the place of the other person. Imagine what it must feel like to experience what they are experiencing. 

The Five Listening Skills greatly enhance empathy. You will learn skills that enable you to empathize. 

Third, as much as you can, remove or keep distractions at a minimum. 

This is easy to understand, not so easy to implement. 

You can ask people to turn off cell phones. But not all of them will. 

Just make sure your phone is turned off! 

If you are doing a home meeting, arrange for children and pets to be out of the picture. 

My puppy Max is a huge distraction and it is hard to remove him. He is either in the room stealing attention with his cuteness or he is making a fuss because he is behind a closed door. 

Zoom.us works well for me. Max photobombs the video sometimes but his presence is minimized.  

You will have your own set of complications caused by distractions. Learn to anticipate and avoid all that you can. Learn to live with the rest. 

You can even comment that you are working from home and distractions are part of the appeal. Then it becomes a good thing. 

Finally, you must be open to new ideas and solutions. 

Be open to the idea that your best friend or sister is never going to join you in your business because it just isn’t what they want to do. 

Be open to the fact that your brother would rather keep working and doesn’t want to sell stuff to family and friends. 

Don’t be floored if someone you were sure would be your next “rock star” signs up with another network marketing company. 

You know that what you are doing is right for you. People are not made with a cookie cutter. 

What is right for you will be wrong for many of the people in your life. 

What is wonderful for you might be awful for your next-door neighbors. They might want to raise pit bulls. 

The key is to remember that what works for you probably won’t work for your best friend, or sibling, or spouse. 

After all, if everyone wanted to do network marketing, you would not be nearly as valuable to your company. 

The key is to remember that what works for you probably won’t work for your best friend, or sibling, or spouse. 

After all, if everyone wanted to do network marketing, you would not be nearly as valuable to your company. 

 We have finished the introduction to the Magnetic Listening for The Intentional Recruiter 

 You are on the way to becoming an Intentional Recruiter 

 We’ll look at each of the Magnetic Listening skills in the coming chapters and conclude with how you can use your new listening skills with online and offline strategies. 

 You are ready for the next chapter – Reflective Listening. It is the skill that will help you to connect and create a relaxed conversation. 

 It’s what you do when you are an Intentional Recruiter. 


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