“Your coffee is on me.”
I didn’t see that coming.
I had stopped at a truck stop in Limon, Colorado with my mom. We were headed home from Denver and still had an hour and a half drive left. We needed a break and I needed caffeine to stay alert.
As I fixed our drinks, an employee was restocking cups. I asked if it had been as busy as it currently was.
She said she didn’t know because she had just started.
I asked when she got off and she told me midnight.
I asked if she liked to work that late and she said she didn’t mind and said it gave her time for her appointments.
I was curious and asked if she had another job.
She said she didn’t but was taking some DV classes because she had messed up.
She was very open about it and then her face lit up as she told me that she was registered to begin taking classes because she wanted to pursue a career in criminal justice.
I smiled and congratulated her and said, “Good job!”
I could have been talking to myself because in the past I would have been trying to turn the conversation to talking about my business and what a great opportunity it would be for her.
But this time I was focused on her and what she needed; and she needed someone to congratulate and encourage her.
I continued getting our drinks and headed to the counter to pay. There was the same employee who surprised me with a free coffee.
There is such freedom in practicing attraction marketing. I no longer need my “cold market” which I used to track relentlessly because they were my only hope after my “warm market” turned me down – repeatedly.
But once I knew how to attract prospects online, I could treat the people I met as human beings with their own set of wants and desires and I could care about them.
I love who that allows me to be.
Curious how that works? It is easier than you might think. So, I am pleased to introduce my guest blogger. Tyson Zahner, introduced me to attraction marketing many months ago. And today he is introducing you. I am excited for you.
How would you like to be more attractive?
Now, by attractive I don’t necessarily mean “good-looking” attractive.
Because let’s face it, there are lots of things that make someone attractive, beyond just their looks.
Instead, I’m talking magnetic quality of attraction that naturally makes folks want to flock to you, desire to be in your presence, and hang on your every word.
This is the kind of attraction great leaders exhibit, the kind of attraction that not only makes you more effective in life but more importantly, makes you significantly more effective in business.
Below you’ll learn five secrets every attractive person instinctively knows (but probably couldn’t articulate).
Ready to dig in?
Alright, here we go!
First up, attractive people are more interested in listening to the other person than they are in hearing themselves speak.
Have you ever dated somebody who talked about themselves the whole time?
“Me, me, me, me…me! But enough about me – what do YOU think of me?”
(I think there’s actually a country song that says something like, “I want to talk about me.”)
We are our absolute, number one favorite topic
And guess what?
Your prospects are the same way.
Thus, if you are more interested in getting to know them than you are in talking about yourself, you will instantly become more attractive.
Unfortunately, especially in business, most people immediately “throw up” all over their prospects about their product, service, or opportunity.
That turns people off!
If you do that, it will instantly make you unattractive.
If you’ve never heard of Jay Abraham, you should definitely study some of his stuff.
He’s a great marketer.
Once, after a marketing event where he was a keynote speaker…
He sat dead tired at the bar
The last thing he wanted to do was to strike up conversations with strangers after a long day.
As he was sitting there, a guy started talking to him.
Jay thought to himself…
“Oh man, I don’t know if I can muster up the energy to carry on a conversation.”
So he just asked the guy a question…
“What do you do for a living?”
And then he just shut up and listened, genuinely interested in what the guy had to say.
He didn’t talk about himself at all.
When the guy finished answering, Jay would just ask another question.
And the guy would go on for another ten minutes.
After 45 minutes, Jay finally said…
“You know, I need to head up to my room and get some sleep, because I have another full day tomorrow.”
The guy said…
“I have met a lot of people in my travels, but you are one of the most interesting people I have ever met.”
Jay Abraham thought…
“What is he talking about? I didn’t say anything about myself at all.”
And then it dawned on him…
“I had this light bulb moment—that being interesting and being attractive is not about trying to prove how interesting you are; it’s about being interested in the other person.”
Next, attractive people are not needy, clingy, or desperate.
We all know about needy, clingy, desperate people—you know, the ones who text you, and three seconds later text you again with…
“Why didn’t you text me back?”
Unfortunately, we see a lot of them in this business.
These people are so addicted to having that one prospect or person say “yes.”
That neediness, clinginess, and desperation make them very unattractive.
Nobody likes those people.
To be more attractive…
You have to learn to “take or leave it” when it comes to asking for the business
That’s not to say that you should act flippant or not care about people.
You should absolutely care about them.
Instead, you need to develop a little aloofness.
You need to come from a posture of “divine indifference.”
“I need people for my business, but I don’t need this particular person for my business.”
When you adopt that kind of an attitude, you won’t come off as needy, clingy, or desperate to your prospects, which makes you more attractive.
There’s a saying that goes something like this:
“He who cares the least holds the most power.”
It’s not about being flippant or uncaring, though.
Rather it’s about being realistic.
“If this person doesn’t join, I know there are lots of other fish in the ocean. I’m not addicted to this one person’s decision. If they say ‘no,’ my world won’t end. My life will go on. I won’t weep and moan and follow up with them forever. I refuse to position myself as needy and clingy.”
Next up, and importantly, attractive people don’t operate with a hidden agenda.
We probably all know somebody in our lives with a hidden agenda.
Every time they do something nice for you, they expect reciprocation.
They’re not doing the nice thing just because it’s nice.
They’re doing it because they want – and expect – something in return.
They might give you a gift, but they’re hoping you’ll post pictures and thank them on social media and say…
“Oh, you’re so wonderful. Thank you for this awesome present.”
…giving them public recognition so they look good.
Hidden agendas make people highly unattractive
When you just do something nice for someone else, without expecting something nice in return, that instantly makes you more attractive.
Doing something nice can be as simple as sharing valuable content on the Internet, or helping someone solve a problem.
Unfortunately, in the home business industry, we see this all the time.
Some people will contact “long lost” prospects on social media and say…
“Hey, what are you doing, John? I haven’t seen you since high school. How’s it going?”
The ask questions that make it seem like they really, genuinely want to connect.
Then just a few seconds into the conversation, they abruptly switch to…
“Oh hey, by the way, I’ve got this deal you should look at.”
It’s an act. A false front.
It smells like a hidden agenda.
The person they’re talking to knows it.
“He wasn’t interested in talking to me at all. He just had an obvious hidden agenda. He just wanted to sell me his thing.”
Go into any relationship genuinely wanting to help the other person solve a problem.
That will instantly make you more attractive, and make people want to help you in return.
Next, attractive people are confident.
…and confident people are attractive.
It’s interesting that two people, especially in home business, can follow exactly the same script (and get different results).
This is why scripts are in large part nonsense – even though they give you a good framework to have a conversation.
Even so, I’ve heard some top earners say…
“Here’s my script, it’s exactly what I say.”
All the fanboys and girls react by saying…
“Oh God, I got to write down exactly what he said.”
They try to use the exact same script, and it doesn’t work
One reason might be, just as Eric Worre says, that…
“Your success in this business has to do with WHO you were before you joined this business.”
If you had great relationships with people, who perceive you as a successful person, and you’re talking to people about creating financial success, then that will have more bearing on whether you are successful using a script.
But another reason is confidence.
Two people might say exactly the same thing, but because one person says it with no confidence it won’t work.
The successful person comes from a “take it or leave it” attitude.
“I understand that you need what I’ve got more than I need you to join me or buy from me.”
That person has confidence in their offer and their ability to help other people so the script will work much better.
No matter what “script” they use, they’ll still perform better, and therefore they’re more attractive.
Some people say to me…
“Well, Tyson, that’s real easy for you to say. You’re a top earner. Of course it’s easy for you to be confident.”
So how can you have confidence when you’re brand new, or haven’t produced many results yet?
If you haven’t read Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, by T. Harv Eker, I strongly recommend it.
Eker talks about the difference—a paradigm shift from…
“Have, do, be.”
“Be, do, have.”
What most people think is this:
“When I HAVE the things that successful and confident people have, then I can DO the things that successful people do, and then I’ll BE confident and successful.”
T. Harv Ecker says they’re approaching it the wrong way.
Successful people understand that it’s “be, do, have.”
“I’m going to BE confident; I’m going to go out there and be the way that a successful person would be. I’m going to think the way a successful person would think. That will then cause me to DO the things that confident people do. And when I start doing those things, I’ll HAVE the results successful and confident people have.”
So look at your own thinking.
If you’re coming from “have, do, be,” you need to flip the script!
Come from “be, do, have” instead.
Go out and be confident, and results will come to you.
The more you…
- Practice, the more confident you will become.
- Get results, the more confident you will become.
- Help people, the more confident you will become.
- Invest in your knowledge, skills, and education, the more confident you will become.
Here’s a personal example:
When I first started doing video, people said to me, “Tyson, you’re so natural on video.”
Believe me, I wasn’t natural—at all.
I had a script taped to the bottom of my phone or camera, and I’d kind of glance up and down it seemed like 50,000 times during a single video.
I didn’t look very confident. I didn’t feel very confident.
A lot of my lack of confidence was because I didn’t have as much knowledge and experience as I have today.
Once you just get out there and fall down a few times, you’re going to get better.
The more you invest in your knowledge and become one of the most well educated in your field, the more confident you’ll become.
Because you’ll realize…
“Man, I know more about X, Y, Z topic than almost anybody else!”
That kind of confidence will instantly make you more attractive.
Finally, attractive people have highly-developed skills.
Let me go back to the dating world for an example.
I’m not exactly the best-looking guy in the world, but I have a hot wife.
She’s damn good-looking!
We started dating a long time ago, back when I was even funkier looking.
I had a mullet and a mustache.
In my defense, that was back in the ’90s, when mullets were a thing.
We’re still married almost 20 years later
She found me attractive because of some of my skills.
I was a musician. And I made her laugh.
Can you think of a musician who wouldn’t seem as attractive if you didn’t see him playing on stage and think…
“Man, that guy’s got confidence, he’s got skills, he’s got some ability, and he’s talented.”
That skill and confidence makes those musicians a lot more attractive than they might otherwise seem.
You look at how physically weird looking some of them are, and you might wonder…
“Holy crap, how in the world is he getting those girls throwing themselves at him?”
Well, looks aren’t everything.
Even in our business.
When you have developed a skillset and can confidently say…
“Look, I can help you succeed in your business because I know how to X, Y, and Z.”
You instantly become more attractive!
You are now more desirable to join than everybody else in your company who just says…
“I’ve got a great comp plan, a great product, and a ground floor opportunity.”
When you tell prospects…
“I’ve built a system to help you succeed.”
“I’m going to give you personal coaching based on my knowledge of recruiting, closing, building systems for duplication, or whatever.”
…You instantly become more attractive.
Just like that!
Okay, so here’s a quick recap of the five secrets all attractive people know…
- Be more interested in the other person than you are in yourself
- Don’t be clingy, needy, or desperate for the sale
- Don’t operate from a hidden agenda—just help people without expecting anything in return.
- Be confident and remember: “be, do, have,” …not “have, do, be.”
- Develop your skills.
I hope you’ll put these tips to work today.
So if you haven’t been investing in your education and developing your skills…
Now’s the time to start!
Knowledge and skills will…
- Help you listen to others to discover how you can help them
- Enable you to realize there are plenty of people who are already interested in what you have to offer
- Give you the confidence to deal with all kinds of prospects – even the ones who say “no”
- Make you instantly more attractive to your prospects
The best way to work on those skills?
Allow me to suggest you take advantage of Elite Marketing Pro’s 10-Day Attraction Marketing Bootcamp.
You’ll discover proven ways to use the Internet to generate leads, separate the “hot” prospects from the “suspects,” and get people who already want what you have to call YOU about your business.
This is the same system Ferny Ceballos, Chief Marketing Office EMP, used to grow a 6-figure network marketing business before he was 28 years old, and still uses to this day to passively generate 300–500 leads per day, 30–50 customers per day, and onboard 70–100 new serious business builders each month.
Super Affiliate & #4 All-Time Income Earner
Elite Marketing Pro