Four months before I was exhilarated at having been spared from death. I was sure that God had sent angels to protect me.
But four months afterward it occurred to me that if I had died in the horrendous car crash, I would be enjoying heaven. My gratitude to God for saving me had eroded into depression.
For several years that depression, though not deep, motivated me to long for death.
I never was close to contemplating suicide. I just wished that God had taken me home in the car accident.
The reason I thought of those dark moments today is that now I am doing everything I can to live to be a hundred.
I would still welcome an earlier “home” going if God chooses, but in the meantime, I love my life and have many things I still want to accomplish.
To achieve my goal, there is something that I must do.
I must work to stay healthy.
I must maintain a healthy weight.
Back in March, I started a weight management regimen with a product line from my company.
I had confidence that these products along with exercise and a healthy diet would help me keep my body at a weight that would give my 71-year-old joints relief and would reduce the unhealthy belly fat that I am genetically predisposed to carry.
Those two things could extend my life and my enjoyment of that life.
And I had lost weight.
Then life happened.
First, I went into comfort food mode after my sister-in-law passed away.
Then, I went into resort food mode when I traveled with family to Los Cabos to celebrate my daughter’s wedding.
Third, I didn’t exercise will power to get back to the plan.
I have been indulging myself long after the excuses I gave myself had passed.
As of yesterday, I had gained back everything I had lost in March and more.
Yesterday, I resumed the plan.
I am counting calories, eating healthy food, and taking probiotics that get to where my digestive system can use them, a fat burner that targets my unhealthy belly fat and protein that will help keep me on target.
I took before pictures, measurements, and weight.
I am not posting them here. You may at some point see the pictures with an amazing after picture.
But let’s be realistic. Time and gravity have taken their toll. So, you are most likely spared the sight.
And my goal is not to get into a bikini. I never have worn one. I am not starting now. My goal is to feel better and live longer.
I will not divulge my weight or measurements.
I do plan to post weekly overall results. I need all the aids I can, including accountability to you.
A prayer directed my way would also be welcome.
How is my depression doing?
Mostly, it is gone.
SAD, seasonal affective disorder, has been an issue for me in the past. So, with more cloudy days that usual it should be flaring right now but it is not.
I can’t prove it; but I think that the supplement I have been taking is largely responsible.
Another factor must be that God has given me the ability to be home with Mom, caring for her and our home. That is what I am hard wired to do.
For me, working from home has always been what I wanted to do. Now I am doing that and still learning and achieving new skills.
Life is good.
It will be even better in a couple of months when I have reached my weight goal.
I welcome your comments.
Feel free to email me.
God bless you,